Undone
by Secstasy
Summary: Kagome, a perfectionist businesswoman, has her organized world torn asunder by a certain man with little regard for rules or boundaries.
1. Propriety

Undone

Chapter 1 – Propriety

Kagome Higurashi tucked a minute strand of dark hair behind one ear, and then frowned at her reflection. Sighing, she removed the pins that held her hair in a tight French twist, and redid it. Today, she must look her part, more than ever. Her grandfather was having her meet with a very important man. Negotiating a merger.

_I wonder what he looks like._ She thought idly, and then pursed her lips. She looked down at her bureau, where a frame held a photograph of Hojo, her longtime boyfriend. His slightly bemused smile did not even elicit the smallest of smiles from her. She turned back to her reflection.

The woman in the mirror looked back, a confident expression on her pale, flawless face. The makeup around her eyes was dignified and natural-looking. Her pale red lips did not hint at any unprofessional emotion. Her rich brown eyes were distant but polite. The skirt-suit she wore was dark but not black, tight but not indecent. Not a single wrinkle marred its freshly-pressed appearance, she noted, pleased. But the woman who looked back at her was unfamiliar. The years may have been kind to her face, but Kagome could not remember when her life stopped being about living and started being about perfection. Starting being about what she was expected to be.

She walked to the bed and put her stocking feet in a pair of elegant black heels. Squaring her shoulders, she made to leave.

* * *

Sesshoumaru Taishou appraised the young woman entering the restaurant, his features schooled. She was very beautiful, but this just worried him. It was not usually a trait found in skilled businesswomen, in his experience. A slight wrinkle appeared on his forehead, a sign of extreme annoyance, as he looked inconspicuously at his Rolex. While the women approaching had been quite punctual, it was more than he could say for his hooligan brother.

InuYasha, in his opinion, was nothing but a liability to their company. But regardless of his drunken forays and disdain for even a guise of politeness, Sesshoumaru considered it his duty to honor his father's dying wish and co-run his company with InuYasha. Even if it meant doing all of the work himself.

The woman had inquired with the host as to the location of his table, and now she made her way toward him. He noted, with approval, her reserved but tasteful approach to makeup and attire. She was carefully professional but not unappealing. Smiling politely, she greeted him.

"Mr. Taishou. How pleased I am to meet you in person." She bowed slightly, then took a seat. He could tell she was slightly overwhelmed by the restaurant he had chosen. It was one of the most expensive in New York, but he liked to make an impression.

"Ms. Higurashi. I trust your trip here was pleasant."

"Indeed, Mr. Taishou, but the Limo was hardly necessary." She replied meekly. He just smiled, a rare occurrence.

* * *

Kagome let her eyes sweep the elegant décor for a moment before coming to rest again on the man in front of her. She couldn't help but notice the empty seat next to him, where she assumed his business partner should be sitting. She wondered what held him, but did not ask.

She assumed the man in front of her was Sesshoumaru, the older of the two brothers who ran Youkan Inc. She had not completely avoided news of the younger one's exploits, and wondered if that had anything to do with his absence.

Sesshoumaru wore a grey suit, perfectly pressed, that went well with his long silver hair. Tied in a neat ponytail behind him, it didn't look strange on the otherwise conventional businessman, oddly enough. Once they were through pleasantries and ordering, he began preliminary talk of the merger, to which she nodded affably, speaking when appropriate. The details weren't hard to follow. She was here to provide a pleasant, professional image of her grandfather's company to encourage Youkan to go through with the merger.

A loud slam jarred her out of autopilot. The doors through which she had entered had opened again, less quietly and with more speed. A man who was both similar and altogether different from the one sitting with her strode imperiously into the dining area, a flushed host following him, inquiring as to his business. He pointed to their table and the host immediately quieted, bowing slightly before returning to his post.

The man, Inuyasha she presumed, had the same silver hair and fine features as his brother, but exuded a completely different attitude. While he had put in a suit, the jacket was undone and the first two buttons of his shirt open. His hair, also long and silver, streamed out behind him, slightly unkempt. His face held an expression of annoyed boredom as he draped himself across the remaining chair and ordered the most expensive thing on the menu from a passing waitress.

Sesshoumaru frowned slightly, the first real emotion that had graced his expressionless visage since Kagome had seen him.

"You're late." He commented without inflection.

"Keh. You seem to have gotten along fine without me." Inuyasha replied. He examined his long, sharp fingernails with pointed disregard for his brother. His eyes, a deep molten gold, then swept Kagome, lecherously traveling down her figure. Noticing her looking back at him, he winked. Kagome felt herself flush, and looked away, angry that her composure had been ruffled. Sesshoumaru's voice brought her attention back to him.

"Ms. Higurashi, you must forgive my brother. While it was our father's dying wish that we co-run our company, he is uninterested in business and rarely involves himself. I thought it important for him to be present at the deciding of our merger, however."

"Of course." She replied primly, avoiding Inuyasha's gaze. She found it hard, however, through the rest of the meal, to prevent her eyes from flitting nervously towards his face. Every time he almost caught her looking, her heart rate sped up, and soon a thin sheen of sweat covered the back of her neck.

Who does this man think he is? She wondered. He doesn't care what I think of him. His collar is rumpled. His face betrays everything.

He perplexed her. It was over too fast.

"And so, Ms. Higurashi, I believe things will work out quite nicely between us." Sesshoumaru was looking at her in a way that made her think there was more than business to his words, though it was hard to tell with him. She wondered how she hadn't noticed it before. The meals had come and gone, and now champagne bubbled before them. She sipped it delicately, but with more abandon than usual, trying to take the edge off of her anxiety.

She nodded to him as she had been doing through much of the meeting, keeping her face positive but carefully neutral. She couldn't help but admire Sesshoumaru's collected exterior, and a fleeting thought of him as an ideal partner flitted through her mind. How long she had been alone, not without a lack of enthusiastic advances, but slowly whittled down to resignation of her single state by messy, chaotic losers to whom she felt no attraction. She was known around the office for being friendly, but cold. Her mother kept trying to set her up.

"If I may escort you out then, Ms. Higurashi?" Sesshoumaru held out a polite hand in request of hers. She made a decision.

"Kagome." She smiled slightly and took it, not sparing his brother another glance, though she could feel his golden eyes burning into her back. What a terrible man, lacking the slightest regard for social mores and her own status as a human being worthy of respect.

The street outside was dark, glowing in the luminous cast of the streetlights above. Sesshoumaru turned to face her.

"Kagome," He began tentatively. "Perhaps we could meet again, unconfined by the strictures of business. I enjoyed your company tonight." His voice was monotone, but she dimly registered that he was asking her on a date. Why not? A tired voice prompted in her head.

"It would be my pleasure." She said thickly, her head slightly dizzy, the champagne turning the street into difficult standing ground.

"I will contact you soon, then. I regret that I must leave. I've called the limo for you, it should arrive soon." He inclined his head at her, and then disappeared into the darkness.

She almost felt tears behind her eyes at his absence, not at the absence of him as a person, but in the utter isolation he left behind. How long had her life been empty, filled with days of work and sleepless nights of sadness. Filled with white walls and white sheets, makeup and suits, paperwork and organized office supplies. Her head spun. She lifted a hand to her hair and spontaneously pulled out the pins and ties that held it in a rigid up do.

Her dark hair cascaded down her shoulders, and the ornaments fell from her fingers. It was too hot out here! She ripped her suit jacket off, tossing it into a nearby trash bin. A cough from behind her made her start. She turned.

Inuyasha stood, bemused. His eyes almost looked concerned, which made the tears rear again, glossing her eyes over, making his face blurry and angelic, his eyes two beacons of copper on an indistinct face. She smiled to reassure him, and stumbled as she walked politely forward, to show him what manners were. The ground suddenly seemed to accelerate, approaching rapidly, but strong arms encircled her and she felt them hold her steady as her legs could not.

"Not much of a drinker, eh?" A sarcastic voice said. She tried to push herself back into a standing position, but when she looked up… his face was closer than she had anticipated. She was drowning in a lake of gold, breathing gasoline. She was Tangling her hands in silver silk, her lips crashing messily to his, fire in her stomach. And then, abruptly, everything was over. Awareness, the kiss…. Mercifully, all that remained was restful darkness.


	2. Propositions

Chapter 2 – Prepositions

Fading moonlight stung unused eyes, and a gasp in the darkness broke the crystal silence. Kagome sat up and immediately regretted the sudden action. A lancing pain ran through her skull, quickly deteriorating into a pounding ache. She reached shaking fingers to her head, massaging it gingerly. Her stomach growled, explaining her trembling limbs. She had barely picked at dinner, and, too worried about the meeting, hadn't eaten anything else the day before.

As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, another gasp escaped her partially open lips as the still silhouette she had taken for furniture before became clearer. Inuyasha sat across from the bed on which she lay, watching her intently as though unsure of what to do with her, his face awkward and slightly defensive. Her actions prior rushed back into the front of her mind.

_Did I really…?_

She had.

She looked down, realizing she was still in her suit, a now rumpled, sad version of its once magnificent self.

"Awake then, are you?" She looked back up to find his eyes, still as unnerving as ever. She didn't answer.

"I didn't know where you lived. Are you alright?" His words were measured. He was holding himself back.

"I..I'm so sorry." She said tremulously. "I hadn't eaten, and I don't drink much." She bowed her head. The image of him, however, filled it.

Him, crawling in the recesses of her that had long been untouched. Him, sitting so close, in casual nightwear, his silver hair moving in the breeze from the open window. Him, a subtle reminder of everything she couldn't have, looking at her, a pitiful thing he'd never want. She buried her face in her arms, drawing her knees up to her body. How she must look right now. Rumpled, tired, trembling, a far cry from the polished image she tried so hard to put forward.

Imperfect.

But suddenly, he was in front of her, pulling her arms away roughly, forcing her to look at him. His eyes were pained, but with his proximity, her breath came in short gasps.

"You kept looking at me." He said, his voice hoarse. "What do you want from me?" He looked at her plaintively, an animal hunger coloring his features. She licked her lips nervously, trying to form the words that this was all just a big misunderstanding, but her vocal chords seemed broken.

"Maybe," He said, his voice now softer but somehow more menacing, "Maybe you think it's funny to taunt the black sheep younger brother with what you think he can't have. But maybe," and with this, he brought his face closer, his breath ghosting across her skin. "It's backfiring on you." He smiled, and his canines seemed threateningly sharp.

"I…" She started, but his mouth closed the distance and he swallowed her words, and the quickly following moan. She couldn't think. This was wrong, a tiny voice in her head shrieked shrilly, but it's dissonant flare hardly compared to the sensory onslaught of his hands, his lips, his tongue.

It was unlike any kiss she had ever experienced. Not just because of her reaction to him, the way his touch seemed to ignite her wherever it made contact, but because of the ferocity of his attack. He was not gentle.

He bit her bottom lip, and then drew back, trailing his teeth along her jaw line, down the delicate curve of her slender neck, stopping at her clavicle. He nipped her collarbone, drawing blood, letting it drip a maddeningly slow trail towards the curve of her breasts, licking it away before it reached the V curve of her shirt.

His hands ripped the bottom of her top up, his long fingernails grazing her hipbone. His strong hands grabbed her waist roughly enough to bruise, drawing her closer to him, then leaning her back on the bed. His bed. His lips came up again to plunder her mouth, his tongue delving into her, fighting her weak resistance, resistance that did more to thwart freedom than anything. Her body wanted this. She could feel his heat resting against her thigh, and a matching throb seemed to pulsate in her core, a thirsty ache that beckoned him. His mouth came up to her ear, and she felt it curl into a self-satisfied smile.

"_I'm going to tear you apart_." He whispered.

Anger coursed through her, and a mortified flush darkened her already rose-hued skin. With a titanic effort, she pushed him away, breathing hard. She quickly got up and crossed the room, putting distance between them. Looking back, she stared him squarely in the eye. His hair was mussed, his shirt open, his pupils dilated.

"I'm not some whore." She spat. Then she spun on one stiletto heel and walked, through an expansive living room, through a quiet vestibule, and out the front door, hailing a cab. Adrenaline pumped through her, a justified sense, but it mingled bitterly with the cold grip of disappointment.

* * *

Sesshoumaru Taishou sat at his white dining table in his penthouse, an untouched glass of wine before him, contemplating. That woman…he had never been one to make rash decisions, and had certainly never been swayed by a pretty face.

However…

There was something about her. A quality that went beyond her beauty, and her grace. She was his counterpart, he was sure.

_Kagome._

_Kagome Taishou. _

He mouthed it silently. Never had he seen a woman who he had been sure had the same dedication as him. Yet after one dinner with her, he was convinced. There was no one who would look better on his arm. No one who could better know the right things to say, or who could better understand the rigors of his job, the stress he must undergo, the time he would have to spend away. _She_ would understand.

No, he was not one to make rash decisions. But something about this woman suggested time would not change his opinion of her. He had made up his mind.

Picking up the cell phone that lay on the table beside him, he hit a number far down the list on his speed dial. It rung twice, then a secretary picked up.

"Higurashi Ent., C.E.O. private line. How may I direct you?"

"This is Sesshoumaru Taishou of Youkan. Please inform Mr. Higurashi that I have thought of the perfect way to solidify our merger…"


	3. Muse

Chapter 3 – Muse

The alarm clock blared, jarring the tranquil silence into cacophonous chaos. Kagome Higurashi woke with a start for a second time, this time alone, in her own bed. Hitting the alarm until it silenced, she collapsed backwards onto her pillows, the echo ringing in her ears.

Inuyasha… her memories seemed hazy, but there was the distinct impression of hurt, anger, and regret. As well as a thousand strangely clear pictures of silver curtains, topaz eyes, and sharp, wicked teeth. She held one hand to her head, and then shook it, trying to clear the jumble of images.

She let out an angry sigh. Trust her to have her alarm go off on a Saturday of all days.

How was it that his name came unbidden to her mind? It irked her to have the first thought of the day be of him.

His face, his mouth, his skin…no! She berated herself. _She_ was in control of herself. There was no way an insufferable ass like him could occupy her thoughts. She already had one man too many…how quickly everything had happened. One moment, it had just been her, with a reserved, quiet boyfriend who lived miles away and never even visited her…and now she still had him, as well as a couple of brothers who seemed determined to drive her in every possible direction insanity might take.

But why did the most disastrous direction seem the most appealing? A rippling, lean body, amber eyes, pupils dilated, breathing in gasps…

She dug her fingernails hard into her arm, almost drawing blood, but unusually enough, the sudden pain did not help her to focus, but only seemed to heighten the heated flush that was spreading through her. She remembered his teeth on her collarbone, and her fingers rose unbidden to finger the small incision his sharp canines had produced.

Shaking her head and clenching her fists, she determinedly dismissed the memory and strode toward her bathroom. All she needed was a good shower, she told herself.

Picking up her phone on the way, she called Sango and left a message, asking her to come over. If anything, Sango's dating experience would help her give Kagome some advice on getting that…_man_…out of her head. Sango was possibly the only one who wouldn't laugh, too.

Stripping off her satin nightgown, Kagome looked at herself in the mirror, appraising, as the water began to run. She had always been pretty, never gorgeous, but men had approached her before. Her hair was long and lustrous, she hadn't cut it in a while, and it cascaded down her back like rivulets of dark water. Her stomach was flat, but her hips sloped out, giving her curves. She adhered to a strict diet and exercise regimen, and her slender form was the result.

She ran a hand lightly down her stomach and frowned. What made _his_ touch any different? She had been touched, kissed, ravaged by men before. It had never been like last night…and they had barely done anything…

Resigning herself to a frustrating week, she stripped off her panties, stepped under the cool jet of water, and tried to forget.

* * *

Sesshoumaru adjusted his tie in the expansive closet mirror, frowning at a minute piece of dust that had alighted on it before flicking the offending thing away. His house outside the city was much better stocked with perfect attire, but right now, the best this apartment could offer would have to make due.

Though lacking much real experience in love, he was confident in his experience with wooing women. If his good looks and money didn't attract them, his flawless manners and knowledge of romantic cliché did the trick. He picked up a fresh bouquet of classic red roses, convinced that his surprise visit would be nothing but a success.

The doorbell rang.

"Come in!" Kagome called, happy Sango had come so quickly. "I'll be right out!"

She finished drying her hair and wrapped a towel around herself, intending to get some clothing from her room. Glancing out into the living room through her door, wondering why Sango was so quiet, she froze with the clothes in her hands. A man with long silver hair stood, his back to her, studying one of her paintings on the opposite wall.

A flush spread through her, lighting her naked skin on fire under the towel, and a gasp escaped her parted lips.

"Inu-Inuyasha?" she breathed, almost inaudibly. Backing up to escape to the bathroom, she knocked her bureau lamp to the floor, unable to catch it before it fell with a resounding clatter.

The man, startled, turned. It was not Inuyasha, but his brother, who seemed surprised to see Kagome in such an obvious state of undress. Muttering an apology, she fled to the bathroom. Slamming the door behind her and flinging the clothes onto the hamper, she sank to the floor against the door, letting it hold her weight. Her heart was beating so fast she feared it would escape her chest and madly ricochet about the room, as it did now within her.

It hadn't been him. That much was a good thing, she told herself. There was only one problem.

She had _wanted_ it to be him.

* * *

Sesshoumaru allowed his lips to curl into a small, self-satisfied smile. He knew the look on her face, the redness of her skin only too well. Already, she desired him. This conquest would be easier than he had even dreamed possible. But still, she was perfect, so charmingly demure in the face of her obvious lust. It was better this way. A woman with self-control was one he wanted by his side. A weak-minded tramp surely wouldn't do. But he knew, everyone had their breaking point. Her resolve would not hold out forever.

He waited patiently, noting with pleasure the clean, minimalistic approach she took to decorating her abode. The few paintings, music, books, or any other kinds of entertainment he could see were classic, betraying little about her. Picasso. Beethoven. Charles Dickens. Everything was immaculate.

A small click alerted him as she exited the bathroom, fully dressed in casual jeans and a black tank top. Her flush had faded, but a rosy hue still remained around her cheekbones, and her eyes wouldn't meet his. How adorable. The girl was mortified. He almost laughed. Instead, he proffered the roses, allowing his face to relax into a charming smile.

"I wanted to give you these. I really enjoyed seeing you last night, Kagome." He allowed his voice to slide over the syllables of her name slower than the rest of the sentence, lingering on its respective syllables with an almost indecent relish.

"S-Sesshoumaru…" She bowed slightly, accepting the roses and walking into her kitchenette for a vase and water. "I am sorry you took me unprepared. I was waiting for someone else, or I would have been more collected."

"No, I am sorry. I should have called. I…couldn't wait to see you again." He replied, allowing his voice to get softer at the last words. It was a useful line. Her blush deepened a bit.

"I…am expecting someone. Perhaps you wanted to arrange a time for us to meet again?" She asked, filling a crystalline vase from the sink.

"Yes. I have been rude. Forgive me." He waved away her protests. "Is Thursday night a good time for you? I would like to meet earlier, but I have business to attend to."

"That would be fine." She told him, her voice a strange monotone. He frowned at her sudden lack of emotion.

"Then…I will see you then." He returned her bow, and took his leave. It was obvious her father had not talked to her yet. It would seem the old man was leaving things up to him. He grinned. Thursday would be a night to remember.


	4. Beast

Author's notes: Hello! I am glad you are enjoying/reviewing the story. This is my first thing posted on besides a oneshot. I had these 4 chapters done already, so they have been quick coming, but the next might be a little slower. I have a question for all of you: is there an easy way to double-space everything so it is not so condensed on the page? Thank you very much for your feedback :)

Chapter 4 –Beast

The door clicked shut behind him, and Kagome went back into her bedroom and collapsed tiredly onto the bed. The day had barely begun and already she felt spent. She had always hid behind the pretense of being a single woman, embarrassed by the sham relationship she still entertained with Hojo. He was a hesitant, skittish man to say the least. They had only kissed once, and it had been passionless. Hojo seemed to be afraid of breaking her, the way his hands barely touched her and his mouth drew quickly away. They hadn't seen each other much since then. Kagome considered the relationship over, and wondered why she still kept his photo. She supposed the idea of having a boyfriend was often nicer than the reality of the thing. Hojo was a convenient placeholder, but his actuality lacked everything Kagome might search for in a man.

A few minutes later the doorbell rang again, and Kagome was careful to compose herself before answering. Luckily, this time, it was Sango, who breezed past her into the apartment cheerfully, bypassing greetings.

Of all the things in Kagome's life, Sango was the least conventional. While she often teased Kagome about her high powered job, occasional OCD, and lack of a love life as interesting as her own, their banter was always good-natured and of a kind Kagome lacked with any other person.

"So..I got your message." She said, turning and arching one eyebrow pointedly.

"Oh, is that why you're here?" Kagome fired back sardonically. Sango snorted and walked into the living room, plunking herself down on the couch and patting the spot next to her. Kagome followed.

"C'mon, tell me what's going on. I have never heard you so..er..insistent that we talk..usually it's me bugging you that we catch up!"

Kagome sighed and sat where Sango had indicated.

"You remember when I told you about the merger our company is considering?" She began hesitantly.

"Oh damn, don't tell me I came all the way over here to hear you talk about _business_." Sango stressed the last word contemptuously. "You know I'm hopeless when it comes to that shit." Kagome shook her head.

"No, the problem lies more with business_men_." Kagome sighed. She looked up to find Sango looking back at her thoughtfully.

"Just tell me." She said gently, laying one of her hands over Kagome's own.

So Kagome did, detailing the dinner, her subsequent mortifying drunkenness, and Sesshoumaru's sudden interest on top of everything else.

"Yeesh." Sango finally said grimacing sympathetically. "I take it your hoping the whole drunken collapse doesn't ruin your business interests?"

"Actually, I'm more worried about InuYasha."

"How much you hate him now?"

"How much I…_wish_ I hated him."

Sango raised an eyebrow, then nodded.

"Well, I say go for it!" She said, grinning cheerfully and slapping her friend on the shoulder.

"Wh.- What?" Kagome spluttered.

"How long has it been since you've been seriously attracted to someone, babe? So what if he's a bit…unconventional."

"I'm not going to take demeaning crap because I'm a woman, Sango. I've worked hard at my job and everywhere else to be treated with as much respect as any man. He…He treated me like I was some kind of-of _plaything!_" Kagome shot back indignantly.

"So? Return the favor. He doesn't have to be anything more to you. If you might be getting into another, more formal relationship in the future, this could be just a fling, right?" Sango grinned wickedly. "God knows you could use one, Kagome."

Kagome flushed. "I don't want to. With him. He makes me sick."

"Hey, all I'm saying is, from what you've told me, he's a jerk. Not boyfriend material. But if you want to fu- "

"Sango!" Kagome could tell by Sango's face that she herself looked scandalized. But then, she had no idea why she was protesting. She wasn't a slut, but she'd had her share of men and she wasn't a prude either. She was stringing Hojo along effectively, so an attack of morals couldn't be the culprit either. There was just…something about InuYasha that simultaneously turned her on and infuriated her. Two sides of him, and two warring sides of her, one that said she should just be cavalier about it and another that was adamant she steer clear of the man indefinitely. She tried another tactic.

"But Sango, I'm kind of dating his _brother_."

"He doesn't have to know."

"But…if I'm just stringing InuYasha along…it'll fall apart eventually! He'll know! Then the merger will definitely be shot!"

"Who do you think Mr. Taishou is going to believe, hon? His delinquent brother or the pretty young professional he's been having dates with?"

"You're evil, you know."

Sango laughed. "I try. Besides, _dating_ doesn't imply marriage. You're not even boyfriend/girlfriend, and you're perfectly free to see other people. Isn't that your prerogative as much as _'any man'_s?"

Kagome groaned.

Why was it that Sango could always talk her into the course of action she least wanted to take?

* * *

Monday morning found Kagome, predictably, at the office. Her secretary looked faintly alarmed when she walked in, stumbling over the customary greeting. Kagome didn't blame her. She knew she looked like shit compared to her usual self. She had spent Sunday worrying incessantly about what she was going to do about the whole thing, a great mess of attraction, formality and business. She still hadn't reached a decision, but her nerves were unsurprisingly frayed.

What was surprising was the tendril of calm that ran through her when she reached her desk and saw the mountain of paperwork waiting for her. There was just something about work, Kagome thought. It wasn't like life. You knew exactly what you had to do. There wasn't a lot of messy grey areas and philosophical nonsense. All you had to do was spend some time, grind away at it, bite the bullet, and you could reach any height you wanted to. Here, at least, she thought, were problems she was capable of solving.

She worked in tranquil silence for several hours, the sound of her pen scratching barely audible in the room. Harsh sunlight lanced through the window, cutting the room into dazzling bars of gold that blinded errant glances. She kept her eyes fixed on the paper in front of her instead. The clouds rolled by outside on tempest-journeys to distant lands and the hand of the clock made its dignified, ponderous way around the never ending circle of time. Kagome barely registered the numbers, she was so wrapped up.

Thus, when her intercom blared, she almost fell out of her chair.

Grateful that no one was around to witness the clumsy spectacle, Kagome quickly composed herself and pressed the button.

"Y-Yes Chiyoko?"

"There's someone here to see you, miss. A Mr. Taishou?"

_What's he doing here_?

"Send him in, Chiyoko.'

It must be something to do with the merger, Kagome reasoned. He can't possibly be coming to see me so soon, with our date on Thursday! Unless there's a problem of some kind…

Just then, the door opened, and Kagome realized she had again been thinking of the wrong Taishou.

InuYasha stood hesitantly on the threshold, as though reluctant to cross into her office without her verbal invitation. The mid-afternoon sun caught in his silver hair and gave him a brilliant corona. Kagome's breath caught involuntarily. The first button on his shirt was open, as usual, and the way the light fell across his collarbone was exquisite. His eyes looked soft instead of feral in the daytime glow, luminous and strange. Kagome internally shook herself, feeling put-out. The frazzled feeling was beginning to return.

"Can I help you?" She said stiffly.

"I..um..may I come in?" He asked. His voice was husky, as though he hadn't used it since he had last seen her. The sound sent tiny tremors through her.

"If you wish." She tried her best to sound aloof and indifferent, but to her, she sounded slightly tremulous. Cringe.

He stepped into the room, into her personal space, the light still suffusing him with a stunning nimbus. He should be a model, Kagome thought privately. He was just…beautiful. It was strange. His brother seemed more refined, even slightly effeminate, but it was InuYasha who seemed to embody beauty. Kagome caught herself staring and colored slightly, pinning her eyes firmly to the paper in front of her.

"I…came to apologize."

"Words are just that, Mr. Taishou. What's done is done." Kagome blurted frostily. InuYasha frowned.

"Let me make it up to you, then. We…we got off on the wrong foot. We were both kind of drunk. Lets just…start over. Let me take you out to lunch." He seemed distinctly uncomfortable, as though apologies were quite foreign to him. Then again, Kagome mused, they probably were. She only had to think about it for a second, Sango's wicked smile hovering over her head. She raised one eyebrow.

"Alright. But just lunch."

* * *

Whatever, Kagome had been expecting it had not been this.

Her seemly demeanor had been shattered as soon as they had exited the building. She had walked towards the car InuYasha was standing by, a nice black Mercedes. InuYasha had not opened the door. Turning to him, a question on her lips, she found that the words were stolen right from her. All that came out was a strangled choking noise.

"_That's_ your transportation?" She asked faintly.

InuYasha grinned in a distinctly frightening way.

"Don't tell me Ms. High-powered executive is frightened of a little bike?"

"Little." She repeated weakly.

InuYasha's Cheshire smile only widened.

"C'mon. It'll be fun."

It was not fun.

At least…not at first. Kagome's skirt rode up embarrassingly high when she straddled the seat, and she couldn't put the helmet on without taking her hair down. She tried to avoid pressing her panties and thighs against InuYasha's back, but when the motorcycle revved into motion, she had to cling to him tightly just to stay on. How humiliating, she thought, but as they gathered speed, she started to enjoy it.

Being on a bike was nothing like riding in a car. In her car, she was in control, disconnected from the outside world that spun by like pictures on television screens, real but somehow detached from her. On the bike, the lethal pavement was a few feet away, the blurs of color and shape separated from her by air alone, Inuyasha's hair streaming from underneath his helmet and playing across her visor. She could feel the muscles along his back tightening and moving as he took sharp turns. The world rushed by, electric and bright, and her world narrowed to a place between her legs. She felt drugged, hazy, torn apart by the stimuli. Adrenaline rushed through her, endorphins and hormones, everything fighting, a heady, dizzying, sharp ambivalence.

When they slowed down she felt as though she wouldn't be able to stand. Clambering off of the bike, she almost did fall, but InuYasha caught her arm and instead she smoothed her rumpled skirt, shooting him a petulant look, at which he looked only amused. She frowned, looking around. They had stopped on a dirt path leading into a wooded area. Kagome was addled, but even as such she hadn't thought they'd left the city.

"Where are we?"

"This is the forest outside my home. We're no longer in the city. You don't have to wear that veneer anymore."

"What?" Kagome asked, taken aback.

"You know. That mask you're always putting on for people. No one's really like that."

"Even if I am putting forward a good impression, what makes you think I'd drop it for _you_?" She snapped.

"Because I know it isn't real. Because there's no point in having conversation with a caricature." He replied steadily.

Kagome heaved a sigh and changed the subject.

"I thought you were apologizing. Where's the lunch you promised me?"

InuYasha grinned and opened a large detachable trunk on the back of the bike. He pulled out a wicker basket. Kagome snorted.

"A _picnic?_ Really?" Inwardly, she tried to tamp down the part of her that was charmed by the whole thing.

"C'mon." InuYasha said, "We have to go further in."

Kagome stared around her as they followed the rough pathway deeper into the trees. She was a city girl through and through, and usually undergrowth unnerved her. Even small plants fighting through the sidewalk reminded Kagome that nature was always dangerous, that man was never safe from its incorrigible growth and power. But there was something airy and light about the forest. Soon they were walking parallel to a small brook, willows along the bank trailing misty tendrils in the softly burbling water. The whole thing was alien and….idyllic.

Nature was raw, though, and it scared her. Kagome knew this was one of her greatest fears. She clung to the social customs and mores of civilized society precisely because she was terrified of the animal within. When she was a little girl, she had watched a horror film with her brother. They had both stared, transfixed, at the grotesque, bloody images that flashed across the T.V. screen. As she watched men scream in pain, Kagome's heart had sped up, her pulse racing, excited. She had been morbidly curious, unable to look away from even the goriest scenes.

_It's only a movie, right?_ She had told herself.

It was only years later that she learned it had been real footage. It was then that she realized her own potential to be nothing but an animal, bloodthirsty. A week later, she had discovered blood between her own legs, and ran screaming to her mother. She had thought the pain in her abdomen and the crimson stain in her underwear was punishment. Kagome couldn't really believe her mother when she told her it was a woman's gift.

With the blood came animal desires of a different kind.

Kagome had fled from them in books, in work, clinging to the familiar and trying to retain what she believed were the last vestiges of her dwindling ethical humanity…the mind that oversaw the beast. While all her friends were off kissing boys and more, she turned away from each interested glance, was ashamed of her burning skin and traitorous heart. Many years later, she realized she couldn't swear off sex entirely and still live as a normal woman…but she never had anyone she truly desired. She made love with a practiced restraint, never allowing a man for even one moment to make her blank out, lose her mind to a visceral drive.

It was a part of her, now. She wasn't even aware. The idea of her jumping on InuYasha before was mortifying, but she could blame it on the alcohol. She had promised herself she wouldn't drink as much ever again. Now, amongst the open air and dragonflies, leaves catching gently in her hair, Inuyasha's lithe figure walking easily ahead of her, she couldn't tamp down a creeping feeling of dread that accompanied her searing want.


	5. Frustration

Chapter 5 – Frustration

It really was indecent.

The way his hair fell into his eyes with a sort of childlike naiveté she knew he didn't possess… the innocent curve of his smile.

He had brought her to a small bridge, hidden in the depths of the foliage, spanning the width of a tiny brook that burbled softly beneath them. Everything felt strange; the lack of smooth, sharp silver surfaces, the buzzing of small insects, the breeze. She finally fully understood the phrase "out of one's element". This forest was as alien as an ocean floor to her, as far away as the moon.

"Here." She turned to look at him questioningly, only to come face-to-face with a slender flute-glass of something sparkling. The carbonation tickled her nose.

"This isn't…?" He grinned immediately at her questioning look.

"Sparkling cider. Non-alcoholic."

"Thank you." She replied quickly, eager for a change of subject. She peered over at the open basket, appraising the contents. It was a simple, elegant repast. The kind of thing, if she was honest with herself, that she might have put together. Grapes, a wheel of brie, a loaf of dark bakery bread, prosciutto, and an assortment of small pastries.

They ate in companionable silence for several minutes, before she broke it.

"You're wrong about me." She said unexpectedly.

"How is that?" he sounded amused again.

"It isn't a façade. This is who I am."

"I don't think so."

"Oh really?"

"I think it's who you want to be, sure. But I don't think it's you. I don't think it's anyone."

"Well, you're wrong. You can be both, you know. This is who I want to be, _and_ it's who I am."

"It's really who you want to be?" He laughed. "But you aren't happy."

"I – I beg your pardon?!" She was apoplectic. "You don't even know me, you smug little-"

"Hey, I'm sorry." He looked uncomfortable again, like he had in her office earlier. "That isn't – I didn't mean…oh, shit. That really came out wrong. I meant…aren't you just trying to be everyone else's idea of what you think you _should_ be? Do you really think that this is all there is…to life?"

"That what is?" She asked, intrigued despite herself.

"Working for money to eat, so you can work some more, for more money….until you get old enough to retire once you've lost all your energy, and beauty…working your ass off for time to spend, time that you'll finally receive past it's expiration date." He ran a hand through his hair, to the faint sound of crackling static, his voice falling and rising in melodious cadences.

"I mean, I know I've made mistakes in my life. I've fucked up more than a few times. But I look at the sky sometimes, or listen to a piece of music I really love…and I just…I know there's more out there. That possibility of what life _can_ be. Something transcendent and so, so _worth_ it. ...Worth every minute of pain, and sadness, and regret." His eyes were luminous in the late afternoon light sifting through the trees. He was looking at her but he wasn't seeing her; he was seeing something beyond her that she didn't know.

"I feel like that, sometimes." She finally said, in a small voice. "But it's a fleeting thing. It isn't real. It's hormones, or adrenaline, or whatever." The words sounded pathetic to her even as she was uttering them.

"I'm sorry, but that's bullshit." He fired back bluntly. "I mean, you could say that about anything. That it's just synapses firing in your brain, or a chemical imbalance. Maybe it's wishful thinking, maybe it's the same stupidity that drives people to blind faith and religious zealotry. But I can't believe that's all life is. That I'm just some kind of animal following my urges. I'm a human being. The fact that I can even think about these things is proof enough for me."

They lapsed again into quiet. Kagome really didn't know what to say to him. He was, she mused, so unlike anyone she had ever known. She had always taken it for granted that there were certain things you strived for in life. Everyone agreed, it seemed, on what was important. You wanted love, sure, but it was hard and complicated even when you tried your best. Much easier was a career, money, material things. They didn't necessarily, equate happiness, but they were a sizable step towards it. You needed money. You needed money if you got sick, you needed it to pay taxes and rent, you needed it to even have a shot at anything…just to live.

Who was Inuyasha to tell her what would make her happy?

Was she happy?

This was the crux of it, the troubling part. She didn't agree with him at all, but yet…he was right about that. She wasn't happy. She was, in her own estimation, doing everything right. But she wasn't content with her life, and she had no idea why.

"Are you happy, then?" She suddenly needed to hear him answer this one question.

"I'm as happy as I've ever been. I've got problems, and nothing is ever perfect. But I'm living on my own terms, and that's very important to me." He looked at her as he said this, his gaze penetrating. She felt like he could see into her dirty interior, into the blood beating treacherously through her veins, into her heart pumping defiantly, into her ribcage and her arteries.

"I'm living on my own terms, too." She whispered. She realized with a detached severity that she sounded unsure. Inuyasha shrugged, obviously uncomfortable with the conversation.

"Sure. I'm sorry…again. I came out here to apologize to you, but I'm just antagonizing you again. Keh." His features became guarded, and he turned to her, looking more like the delinquent boy in the restaurant than the earnest man of a few moments ago. She was suddenly so aware of how close she was sitting to him, of the clothes clinging to their bodies and the breath moving through her lungs, in and out of her in rapidly quickening whooshes.

_I want him to kiss me._

The thought took her by surprise. She was angry at him, still, for what had happened that night. Even with Sango's encouragement, she hadn't intended to become embroiled in his life, or to have anything but the platonic relationship her involvement with his brother might warrant. But he was so close and he was dizzyingly gorgeous and right now she didn't care about any of that. She vaguely tried to steel herself, to summon up within her the disgust, the inhibitions that had allowed her to push him away when he had whispered in her ear. Every time she tried, however, something caught her; the scent of him, like wood smoke and sweat, the line of his cheekbone with a shadow twisting teasingly beneath, his sharp teeth catching the edge of his mouth again…

She couldn't think right now, not of Hojo who didn't matter anyway, not of Sesshoumaru who was perfect and cold, not of her company or the merger or of the papers stacked on her desk. He was real and golden, with a verdant green world haloing his pale hair, his face inscrutable. It wasn't tame, or romantic, or beautiful, what she wanted from him, then. She wanted something violent and bestial, like heat rising furiously into the dead air, forming great clouds that thrummed with the energy of wanting, of needing to release their pent-up deluge…

She saw the change in his expression that meant he saw in her the sudden desire that threatened to consume all rational thought. A small flicker of understanding in his eyes, then doubt. She was struck with a sudden horror as she stared into his face. It seemed as though a blind had shut over his entire visage, obscuring the burning emotion of his speech just minutes before. She wanted him to do something crazy, she wanted one of them to reach over and grab the other roughly by the hair…

Instead, he leaned forward, hesitantly, that horrible veil still covering his expression. His movement was a question she eagerly moved to answer, crossing the few inches left between them. She kissed him, lunging forward, but he pulled back slightly. When he kissed her in return, it was cautious. His lips moved softly, closed. It was a chaste kiss that quickly ended. He turned away before she could see his face again.

"We should get back, Kagome." Before she could answer, he gathered up the remnants of their meal and made to walk away. He didn't turn to see if she was following him until he had reached the edge of the forest, where she couldn't make out his features.

She sat for a moment, listening to the free sound of the water flowing, watching it as it twined sinuously around every obstacle and continued on. The water knew where it was going; it was going wherever gravity pulled it.

Straightening her rumpled clothing and burning with humiliation yet again, she made to follow him, her body still aching with an unsatisfied need. A question repeated to the rhythm of her steps as they walked back, as she followed him as though pulled by an unseen thread.

_What did I do wrong?_

* * *

"Well, I guess I should have mentioned that that might happen." Sango sounded regretful over the phone, punctuating her words with a small sigh.

"You mean…you knew this would happen?" Kagome hissed angrily.

"Not…exactly, no. But what did you expect, Kagome? After the way you reacted to him last time, you can hardly expect things to be the same as before. He's hesitant about being romantic with you at all, let alone being as forceful as when you pushed him away. He doesn't want that to happen again. Who would?"

"…oh."

"There is one good thing, though."

"What?"

"The fact that he wanted to apologize, that he kissed you again…it means he's definitely still interested." She could hear Sango's smug smile through her voice.

"But it doesn't matter, does it? He'll just keep holding back."

"Honestly, Kagome, what is your problem? Aren't you the one who is always talking about equality between men and women? But what were you thinking in that clearing? You told me that you thought "I want him to kiss me". Why didn't you just kiss him? You have to go after what you want in your love life, Hon, just like at work. You can't expect it to just come to you."

"But…maybe I've messed things up too badly. What am I even doing, Sango? I need to break it off with one of them."

"Ultimately, it's your choice, babe. I just want to see you happy. Whatever that means for you."

"Thanks, Sango. I always feel better after talking to you."

"It's because I'm so brilliant. Hey, lets have a girls night one of these days. Give me a call when you're not bogged down with work, ok?"

"Sure. Talk to you soon. Bye." Kagome hung up the phone, chewing her lip. Her stomach was roiling with unpleasant emotions. It was one thing to fight a battle for something you believed in, for something you were sure about…but this whole time, she had been at odds with the treacherous impulses her body provided. She didn't _want_ to want Inuyasha.

It would be so much more convenient if she were attracted to Sesshoumaru. But even this scared her. This is a good thing, she thought, the barriers between me and Inuyasha. Deep within her resided the fear of how wanton and depraved her actions might become were the path to Inuyasha clear. Had she wanted Sesshoumaru with the same fervor, there was no telling what she might have done the last time she had seem him with little more than a towel between her body and his eyes…

But there it was again, the little pang of disappointment that she couldn't quite find the root of. It was the same feeling she had had the night she had left Inuyasha's apartment.

She thought of the words preceding their disastrous kiss. The vehement, furious joy in Inuyasha's voice when he had spoken of life, of how he thought life could be. In that moment, Kagome had wondered, for a second, if he was really as deluded as logic might tell her.

_Something transcendent and so, so worth it…_

What did he mean? She asked herself. What was worth it? This was just the way life was. It was hard most of the time, and it often hurt. Either you came to terms with that, or you jumped off of the tallest building you could climb. Kagome watched the news. She had no compunction about owning up to the way the world just…was. You either did good things and tried to be the best person you could, or you gave into your selfish side to ease your problems. Practically everyone she knew turned to addictions: drinking, drugs, promiscuity, even copious amounts of coffee. Kagome just preferred to devote herself to something constructive. Her job was her escape. It was mindless, and often difficult, but she felt like it was the right thing.

I shouldn't have seen him today, she concluded. This was, and always will be, a stupid idea. I'm always better off on my own.

But that night, her dreams were haunted by eyes convicted of a beauty only they could see; golden eyes watching a distant and lovely phantasm which, try as she might, Kagome knew she couldn't reach.

The next morning, she noticed that the roses Sesshoumaru had left her were starting to wilt.

* * *

Kagome squared her shoulders and walked through the doors of the crowded restaurant. This particular one was very large, as it included a dance floor and a live singer with band. It was packed for a Thursday night, but then, that was New York City for you. The woman who had been singing, an attractive, short girl in a tight cocktail dress, was taking a break to drink some water, while the band played some soft, unobtrusive jazz.

Kagome tugged nervously on the hem of her dress, but this only served to bring down the v-neck, exposing more décolletage. At home, she had reasoned that this was the correct thing to be wearing. It was a date, after all, not merely a business meeting as their last meal had been. But she felt more and more exposed in the form-fitting silk frock, standing under the bright fluorescent lights as though on stage. Her heels resounded loudly on the polished floor as she strode up to the hostess.

"Um…I'm meeting someone? A Mr. Taishou?"

"Ah, of course. Right this way, miss." She caught the envious look the hostess' face, and felt better. She should be enjoying this; Sesshoumaru was the kind of man any woman would be ecstatic to be with. He was handsome, polite, rich…Kagome's thoughts trailed off as they reached the table. Sesshoumaru looked elegant and unruffled in a dark, silver-grey suit. He rose as Kagome approached.

"Kagome." He smiled with perfunctory grace. "It's wonderful to see you. You look beautiful."

"Thank you." She smiled back automatically. This was going to be easy. No obligations, no worries, no hormones…just dinner with a man who knew how to carry on polite conversation and offer disarmingly romantic gestures. This, Kagome convinced herself, was exactly what she needed right now.

A waitress hurried over with a gleaming bottle of Cabernet, and two glasses. Sesshoumaru ignored her fastidiously and fixed Kagome with the full power of his intimidating gaze.

"Wine, my dear?"

Kagome opened her mouth to say, No, thank you, I don't think I'll ever drink again, but Sesshoumaru had already nodded and the waitress had poured quite a bit of the expensive liquor into her glass. Kagome closed her mouth and murmured a polite thank you, while promising herself not to touch the stuff. They ordered their meals; as Kagome ordered a salad she caught Sesshoumaru's approving look and decided to have nothing else. Kagome's dealt with food the same way she dealt with men; if she wanted it too much, she knew it would be bad for her.

"Kagome." He spoke her name softly, alluringly. "There is something specific I wanted to speak with you about. Not that the pleasure of your company is not reason enough to meet; quite the contrary." His mouth turned up at one side indulgently, as though inviting her to laugh. She chuckled nervously, wondering what he wanted. She could tell from the sound of his voice that he wanted something from her.

The woman on the small stage had stopped chatting and gotten up. She was fiddling with the microphone and laughing with her band mates as they struck the last notes of a fading song.

"Hello, New York City!" She laughed into the microphone. There were scattered whistles and applause from the diners. "If you'll bear with me a moment, I'd like to sing something a bit more modern than this stuffy jazz my band seems so fixated on!" She grinned cheekily back at the clarinetist, who returned a long-suffering look, obviously trying to fight a smile. "I'm going to cover 'Say You Will'. Lets have some dancing!"

At an invisible cue, the drummer started up a low, steady bass rhythm.

"Kagome." Sesshoumaru recalled her attention, looking put-out that she was not devoting all of it to him. "I've spoken again with your father."

"Have you?" Kagome said politely. She could not think what relevance this had on their date. Did he still want to talk about the merger? That was fine with her. The woman started to sing, her voice low, throaty, hypnotic.

_Why would she make calls out the blue?_

_Now I'm awake, sleepless 'til noon…_

"Yes. We had a long talk. About you, actually." He was forced to look up as their food arrived. He had ordered a rare steak, and it bled as he sliced it into small, precise pieces. Kagome picked at her salad, feeling more and more on edge. There were several couples swaying now on the dance floor to the slow song. She wondered what Inuyasha would have said, had he been the one across from her instead of his brother.

"About me?"

But Sesshoumaru was doing something strange. He was reaching into his pocket, withdrawing a small box…

_Hey, hey, hey, hey  
Don't say you will…unless you will  
Hey, hey, hey, hey  
Don't say you will, then play you will  
I pray you will_

"What is that?" Kagome breathed involuntarily, hoping the faint strains of oncoming horror were not yet coloring her voice.

"Chiefly, a business proposal, if you'll pardon the unintentional pun. I know you're the kind of woman who can understand how important this is for our companies." Sesshoumaru placed the unassuming object between their plates, between them, on the table.

She was watching his mouth moving, watching the teeth behind the lips. She was feeling raw, sharp canines against her skin, violence in the dark, a headache throbbing in tandem with the beating of a second heart.

_Mrs. So-fly crash lands in my room  
Can't waste no time, she might leave soon_

All Kagome could think of at that moment was Inuyasha, earlier, kissing her with a horrible hesitance. But all she could see was Sesshoumaru, not even on one knee, handing her a box without emotion. She could not imagine anything but a hesitant kiss from him, ever. She remembered again the night she had drunk too much, the frenzied haze of pain and heat on his rumpled coverlet...

_When I grab your neck, I touch your soul  
Take off your cool then lose control._

"Kagome." He looked across at her, the first crack in his confident veneer beginning to show. "Your father and I both agree that an arranged marriage between us would be the perfect gesture to fully connect our businesses. But beyond that, I've known since I first saw you that we are two people who can understand one another. Who can respect how important our work is to both of us." He opened the box. A glittering, ostentatious diamond ring winked at her from the velvet interior. "I believe we can grow to love each other. So don't worry about that. After all, marrying in a rush of teenage hormonal impulses is a juvenile, immature choice. It's outdated. People match themselves on compatibility now; attraction follows. Though, I feel we already have both…"

_Hey, hey, hey, hey  
Don't say you will  
You will, you will  
Hey, hey, hey, hey  
Please say you will  
for real  
I pray you will._

The song ended. There was a moment of deafening applause, and the singer bowed demurely.

Kagome's heart was racing with an unnamed emotion. She reached for her wine glass without looking at it and drained it. The alcohol raced down her throat, burning like ammonia. She couldn't taste it. She couldn't think. What was the word 'no'? What did it mean? It was a sound without meaning. It was like laughing, or crying, or screaming. It was unintelligible and did not belong in a situation like this, in public.

She opened her lips. Even wetted by the Cabernet, they were dry.

Choices meant nothing. Here was the key to lock her chastity belt, the final word, the final struggle. Here was the impassable barrier she would erect between her lust, her selfishness, and the way she wanted to be.

Mrs. Kagome Taishou.

He was looking at her expectantly. His posture was perfect, even in this place of alleged relaxation.

There was only one answer she could give.

"Of course, Sesshoumaru. I agree. This arrangement is satisfactory to all involved." Could she muster a smile? Of course. All she needed to do was bare her teeth.

The woman on the stage was kissing the clarinetist, tenderly, passionately. A few couples were still swaying on the floor.

The alcohol was taking effect. As she put the ring on her slender finger, she let her vision go hazy. She could almost imagine she was only marrying a nameless man with silver hair. Just a lovely mannequin.

AN: All of the reviews have really motivated me to get this chapter done It's even a bit longer. My previous questions of the last chapter stand: Is there an easier way to upload single chapters that are all in one document? How can I double-space them? Also, does allow sex? I'm unsure. This story is rated adult, but how explicit are you allowed to be?

Thank you to all of the reviewers, so much. I hope you enjoy this chapter. The song lyrics are from "Say You Will" by Kanye West. I have to admit, I am a big fan of "808's and Heartbreak". You should listen to it, if you haven't.


	6. Forbidden

Chapter 6

"I just can't believe that you would do this, daddy!" Kagome's voice was bordering on hysterical.

"Kagome…" Her father's voice sounded tired. "Think of it from my point of view-"

"I will not! What time period are we living in, Dad? An arranged marriage? Are you serious? Please tell me this is some kind of a joke."

"Kagome…I'm an old man. I just want to see you happy."

"I know, daddy." Kagome heaved a sigh. The initial anger was seeping out of her as her father continued speaking in the same measured, exhausted tone.

"Sesshoumaru is a good man. He is strong, hard-working, and from what the ladies at the office tell me, not hard to look at either. You know Kagome, your mother and I had an arranged marriage."

"You…you did?" Kagome was blown away by this admission. Her mother and father were two of the most committed people she had ever known, but they had always been vague about how they had met.

"Yes." His voice sounded warm with nostalgia. "Your mother's parents just wanted a better life for her. I concede that times have changed, Kagome. But your mother and I grew to love each other dearly. You and Sesshoumaru are more alike than you can yet see. I want to be able to leave this world knowing I left my child happy…" His voice was plaintive, agonized. He wanted her to tell him he was doing the right things.

Bu there it was again. Another person who didn't think she was happy.

_But didn't I do what you expected of me, father? Didn't I do the right things?_

"What if I am already happy, father?"

"If you are Kagome, call it off. I'm sure I can find another way of assuring this merger, but if I can't, I wouldn't sacrifice you for it." His voice was regretful.

"…alright. I'll have to think about it, daddy."

"Take as much time as you need. Don't be hasty."

"I love you, daddy."

"I love you too, darling. Goodbye."

"Bye." Kagome hung up the phone and buried her head in her hands. The ring Sesshoumaru had given her glittered on the bedside table, and she turned her back on it. The night had been a blur of senseless trivialities after she had answered him.

The phone in her hand rang again, almost giving her a heart attack. She picked up automatically.

"Hello?"

"Kagome!" Sango's voice crackled for a second over the other end, sounding distraught.

"Hey, Sango."

"Kagome, what the fuck is going on? I just saw the newspaper this morning."

"Wha-What?!" Kagome squeaked.

"What's this bullshit about you marrying Sesshoumaru Taishou? Is this true?"

"I- yes- maybe…It's in the paper?" Kagome's heart was racing dangerously fast. She felt like she was careening down a slope, unable to brake.

"Yes! What do you mean, maybe? Kagome, why didn't you call me?" Sango sounded hurt. Kagome sighed.

"It…just happened last night. I don't know what I'm doing. I can't believe it's in the paper already…they must have been plotting this."

"Who?"

"My father and Sesshoumaru."

"Kagome, you don't want to marry him." Sango said matter-of-factly.

"I already said yes." Kagome breathed, more to herself than to Sango. Her hesitant agreement had been a greater catalyst than she had intended, and now events had been set irrevocably in motion. She had never felt more trapped. She was dimly surprised to register than silent tears were trailing down her face.

"Kagome, you were just telling me how much you liked Inuyasha! Do you really think anything is going to happen if you're engaged to his brother? Please tell me you're not going to go through with this."

"I'm…not sure." Her voice broke slightly. She berated herself and cleared her throat.

"That's exactly why you shouldn't do it! If you're going to get married, you have to be sure about it!"

"I don't know why he put it in the newspaper Sango. I said yes, but I really need to think about it. I'll talk to him." She said in a rush.

"Kagome, do you need me to come over? Are you ok?" Sango sounded mollified and slightly worried.

"No, Sango. I have to get to work. I'll call you again soon."

"Ok, babe. Take care of yourself."

"You too. Bye." Kagome hung up again. For the first time in ages, she didn't want to go to work. She dreaded the reactions of her secretary, her co-workers. She could easily envision their sickly sweet congratulations, their simpering smiles. She fell back on her mattress with a muffled thump, staring at the dull white ceiling.

Even now, her strongest desire was just to see Inuyasha. But she feared that confronting him would be the worst of all. Yes, he was hesitant, but he had kissed her the last time she had seen him…and now she was engaged to his brother. It seemed like the lowest betrayal. She wondered how she had turned into such a horrible minx. She picked up the phone a third time, gritting her teeth and deciding.

"Higurashi Ent. How may I direct your call?"

"This is Kagome Higurashi. I'm not feeling well today. I won't be coming in to work."

* * *

Sesshoumaru's ring was heavy on her finger as she walked through the labyrinthine passages of the city streets. It had been agonizing to put it on, but she reasoned she had better wear it, if only as a reminder.

She was only mildly surprised at how easily she remembered the way, even though she had only been there once.

The small, affluent building was at odds with its surroundings. New York City was a gritty, smoky place. The dichotomy of dirty cobblestones leading to the gleaming door made her think of how Inuyasha was always at odds with his environment. What had initially repulsed her now seemed endearing.

She was disgusted with herself, because she felt safer, seeing Inuyasha now. There was a rift between them, a barrier she was sure he wouldn't break; after all, it wasn't just any man to which she was now engaged, it was his own brother. She rang the gilded doorbell with her left hand, the ring glinting teasingly in the mid-afternoon light. She waited.

He was at the door in a moment, and she caught her breath. He looked as though he had just risen. His silver hair was tousled silk, his eyes hooded and tired. A pair of black silk pajama bottoms hung low on his hips, and a fitted white wife beater clung to the muscles of his stomach and chest. He was slender, but fit, and Kagome tamped down the sudden, mad desire to lift his shirt and run her hands over the sculpted planes of bone, muscle, warm skin…

"Oh." He said. "It's you." His voice was flat and inflectionless, and for a moment he reminded her of Sesshoumaru.

"Inuyasha, I-I wanted to talk to you." She said helplessly, suddenly at a loss.

"What for? There's nothing you could have to say to me." His eyes were cool his tone measured. Kagome, mortified, realized her vision was blurring with tears. She looked at the ground, hoping he hadn't seen. She had been so careful applying her makeup this morning, too.

"Hey." A small note of panic. "What are you- Shit, don't cry or anything." He reached forward, putting a steadying hand on the small of her back and drawing her inside.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I shouldn't have come here."

He didn't answer, but led her through the vestibule and another winding hallway, into the kitchen. He wordlessly poured her some coffee, then took a mug for himself, and sat down across from her.

"Okay. You wanted to talk, talk."

She looked up at him, and there it was again, the way his gorgeous, feral eyes didn't seem to fit in this domestic room, the sinews of his arms taut against the checkered tablecloth. She wiped discreetly at the corners of her eyes, trying to erase the evidence of tears without doing further damage to her mascara.

She cast her eyes around the kitchen, searching for something to fix them on while she spoke. There was a small window at the back that looked out at a pathetic little garden. It was a miniscule spec of green in a place overgrown with steel. An intrepid dandelion was reaching hungrily for the sparse sunlight.

"I guess you've read about Sesshoumaru and me," she began, a shaky laugh escaping her involuntarily. She wondered it she was coming off as a crazy person. Probably. "I didn't know it was going to be in the paper like that…my best friend called me this morning, pissed I hadn't told her first."

Inuyasha was looked into his coffee, his face inscrutable. She hurried on, worried she'd lose her voice again if she kept looked at him, at the dip of his collarbone and the gleam beneath his eyelashes.

"It's my dad. He and Sesshoumaru talked without my knowledge, and they want this marriage to be the representation of our two companies coming together. I-I said yes because I had to." She looked into her own coffee, the murky depths quivering slightly, ripples catching the fluorescent lighting. A loud noise startled her, and some of the hot beverage splashed her hand, but she didn't register the flash of pain.

Inuyasha had stood up abruptly, and his calm façade was gone. He looked murderous.

"Don't give me that bullshit, Kagome. You don't _have_ to do anything. You made a decision, so don't try and blame it on other people. If this is the way you want your life to be, if you want to live for other people, don't drag me into it! Why did you even come here, huh? To give me some half-assed explanation of how other people are forcing you to make life-altering choices?" He laughed. "What, did you think I'd care? Do you really think you're anything more than another conquest for me, another stupid slut to use? Did you think you were the one using me?" He barked a condescending laugh. His knuckles were white against the sides of the tabletop.

Kagome sat, stricken, for a moment. Her heart was beating uncontrollably at the volume of his tirade, and the flush across his cheekbones and the tension along his slender body. The veil was over his eyes again; she had no idea how he felt, but if his words were any indication, she had only one course of action. She stood to leave, but he had already crossed the room to stand before her.

For a moment she looked into his eyes and time froze. For a moment she knew…something she hadn't know before…the heat radiating off of both of them enveloping her, his face was the world because she was so angry at him. She was furious, gloriously mad, she wanted to hit him and hurt him, have him hurt her, she wanted to hate him but he was so beautiful. For that second the very space between them was poised like a cat ready to spring, pregnant with a thousand conflicting emotions, a million bad ideas.

He grabbed her shoulders roughly, crushing her to him in a kiss hard enough to bruise.

She struggled against him for a moment, and he pulled away, only to throw her hard against the opposite wall. China rattled in the cabinets, and Kagome's head cracked against the paint. She saw stars as he grabbed her wrists, holding each one down with his own hands like manacles on either side of her, taking another brutal, searing kiss, his teeth scraping her bottom lip. His whole body was pressed against her, holding her immobile, and she arched against him involuntarily. He swallowed the desperate sound she made, his sharp nails digging into her wrists.

His knee divided her thighs, pressing her flush against him even closer. His hands were everywhere, beneath the thin material of her respectable blouse, calloused against the silk of her bra. His thumb flicked across her nipple, and he broke away just as she moaned, a desperate, wanton sound, affixing his mouth to her throat instead.

"Inuya-yasha…please…." She didn't know what she was begging him for; to stop, or to double the force of his ministrations. He paid her no heed, slipping the bra strap off of one of her shoulders, nipping his way across her collarbone, down her arm.

She moved her hand to brace herself against the wall. She felt him stiffen, suddenly cold.

It was over too quickly, and he jumped away as though she was dirty and contagious. He was looking at the ring on her finger, and for a moment he looked scared and vulnerable, but then he smirked.

"See baby, if I wanted something from you, I would have just taken it." His chest rose and fell with irregularity. Kagome took a deep, wrenching breath and looked down at her disheveled attire. She straightened her clothes in stony silence, her hair over her burning face.

"Thank you, Inuyasha." She said finally, proud that her voice remained steady.

"For what?" He looked incredulous, and his self-satisfied sneer almost wavered.

"For convincing me that I've done the right thing."

And with that, she left his home in righteous indignation for the second time, the streets of the city swallowing her like prey, a maze of sidewalks onto which her smart shoes beat a rhythm which could replace conscious thought in the tumultuous recesses of her mind.

* * *

The dimly lit bar cast long, neon-tinged shadows across the lone occupants. It was a remote hole-in-the-wall, practically empty at 2 a.m. even in the city that never slept. The two men who sat at the bar on two rickety stools were talking quietly. One was hunched over morosely, the other animated.

"So, Inuyasha, are you going to tell me the real reason you dragged me here at this time of the morning? Not that I'm not always willing to go drinking."

"Figures. You depraved bastard."

"I'll deign to ignore that on the grounds that you're probably projecting. Is it your brother again?"

"That asshole." Inuyasha stated with indifference, his expression unchangingly depressed. He took another shot, motioning at the bartender to keep them coming. The portly man behind the counter just raised an eyebrow, pouring him another.

"Not him, then. A woman, perhaps?"

"Keh." Inuyasha's brow furrowed, and he drank the shot placed in front of him immediately. His head swam for a moment as the alcohol burned its way down his throat.

"Ah. So it _is_ a woman. I didn't think you had it in you to care about just one. I thought," the man said, in long-suffering tones, "that I was teaching you well the ways of bachelorhood. You hardly want to go through anything like what happened with Kikyo again, do you?"

Inuyasha just leveled a drunkenly murderous stare back at him.

"I'll thank you not to mention that succubus to me again, Miroku." He said matter-of-factly, and then promptly fell off of his bar stool.

His companion, a slim man with dark hair tied back rakishly in a ponytail, grinned for a second, biting back and laugh and what was undoubtedly a snide comment before helping Inuyasha back up. The bartender stood awkwardly aside, seemingly torn between continuing to serve his only paying customer, and cutting off someone who was obviously too inebriated to remain seated. Inuyasha swayed on the stool for a second before seeming to steady.

The bartender relaxed, looking only marginally guilty as he poured them both another round. Miroku glared pointedly at him, staying Inuyasha's hand as he reached for it.

"I think you've had enough."

"Keh. What do you know?"

"I know how heavy you are, for one thing, and how unappealing carrying you back to your apartment sounds right now."

"Lazy bastard." But Inuyasha made no move to reach for the alcohol again, staring at it through hooded eyes instead, as though inquiring as to how such an innocent-looking beverage could do this to him. Miroku's expression took on the first sign of seriousness he had shown all night.

"Inuyasha, who is this girl, really? I haven't seen you this torn up since Ki-..since you-know-who."

Inuyasha sighed. He buried his head in his arms, the room spinning in a decidedly disorienting manner. Miroku put a comforting hand on his shoulder, a concerned expression on his face, all signs of laughter gone. Inuyasha mumbled something into his arms.

"What was that?" Miroku asked kindly.

"She's my brother's fiancée."

"Sesshoumaru?" Miroku choked on the sip of water he had been taking.

"Do I have some other brother I'm unaware of, idiot? Yes, him!"

"You can't possibly be entertaining the idea of going after this girl, Inuyasha. I know you've enjoyed…difficult conquests in the past. But this is different. If they're engaged, he must really love her." Miroku looked slightly amazed. "I didn't think the indifferent bastard had it in him."

"He doesn't. It's arranged, part of a business deal. And you're right, this is different. She isn't like other women."

Miroku looked worried. Privately, he observed that Inuyasha had said the same thing, only once, about one other woman. He was reliving a time when it had not been as easy to tell Inuyasha to go to bed with the next hourglass-figured bleach-blond gold digger, and he'd feel better in the morning. Inuyasha could see through those women easily, but strong women, calculated women…he didn't understand them. This women, aside from belonging to his brother…she had entered into a marriage for business reasons, and was precisely the kind of girl who Inuyasha didn't need.

"Inuyasha, no matter the circumstances, she's agreed to this as much as your brother has. You have to avoid her, and you have to behave as you should when you have to see her." Miroku told him.

Inuyasha's liquid eyes looked suddenly, immeasurably sad. He stared at his untouched whiskey for a moment.

"I know." He said. Before Miroku could stop him, he reached out and drained the glass. Then, to his companion's amazement, he slapped money on the bar, stood up, and walked steadily out into the black morning.

* * *

AN: So I've noticed with all the settings I've been choosing, my characters are heading towards raging alcoholism if this keeps up…sorry!

I know some people resent it, but reviews are really what keep me POSTING this story. It's not that I'm writing for them, but I can easily write this story for myself; I take the effort to post it online for FEEDBACK. So your reviews are very much appreciated! Tell me what you like, what works for you, what writing seems weak, what you would like to see more of.

Thanks!


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